What’s it all about?

I feel I should take the time to explain a little more about why I started to write this blog.  Its primary purpose is to give me an outlet, some catharsis, call it what you will.  In other words, I get to let out the myriad thoughts, memories and feelings that keep spinning around in my head.  My first post on this blog was a response to a particular trigger and the other posts have come to mind easily as they’re all strong memories or feelings for me.  If you’re reading this then it won’t have any kind of coherent structure.  I’m not writing a book, there’s no strict timeline here, just a jumble of words as they appear to me.  I don’t have a set agenda, and everything you read here is genuine.

Here’s what I’m NOT looking to do:-

• Come across as a know-it-all.  I’m not offering advice here.  I’m no good for providing insights into all carers’ lives – only mine.  If you’re a carer and you recognise any of what I say, that’s great.  I get that there are shared feelings and experiences in the roles of carers – no matter what age you are or what particular disease/illness/disability you care for, there is common ground.  I’ve added a bit where you can ask me a question if you want to but I’m not qualified to give you any magic answers about caring- I’m not the Oracle ( or Ceefax for that matter…….. ask your parents! ).  If it seems like I am trying to preach, I’m sorry and you can give me a slap if we should meet.

• Look like I’m self-aggrandising.  The idea of me coming across as “look at me, aren’t I great” fills me with horror.  I’m not looking for sainthood – if I’m brutally honest, my view of myself is considerably lower than it ought to be.  Maybe I’ll come back to that in the future.  If you do spot any arrogance, I’m sorry and see above for suggested action.

As a sort of quasi-therapy, blogging is definitely tough love ( When I cry it doesn’t offer me tissues *sniff* ).  These posts are difficult to write because of the subject matter.  But if I didn’t include the painful things, if it wasn’t warts ‘n’ all ( great phrase – who says the tabloid press aren’t educational ), there’d be no point doing it.  I might as well not bother.  Which means that a great deal of what I write can be a bit dark and depressing.  I can’t apologise for that.  Just as I can’t shy away from it.  I will try to lighten the mood occasionally but I’ll be reflecting the mood that I’m in while I’m writing.

So…… I get really *really* nervous whenever I post something new but I hope this tells you a little more about the what and why.  And with that, thanks for reading.