This year has brought milestones into MW’s life. She’s recently turned 50. The day itself was fun. Some friends came to visit and made her day and she had cake and balloons. It was good for her – and for me – to have a house full of people and laughter.
MW hadn’t really had time to get used to being 50 when we learned that her father passed away the other week. They’d not been able to see each other for over a year – MW can’t travel such a distance because her MS is too advanced, her Dad had leukaemia and had deteriorated significantly since we last saw him. This meant that neither he nor MW’s Mum, his main carer, could come and see us.
It’s been a challenging time since we learned of his death. MW has cognitive and memory issues, and I thought she’d need to be reminded what had happened. There are moments where she seems to forget and others when it’s obvious that she’s thinking of him. There’s a deep sadness in her demeanour, a real low mood.
Given that she couldn’t get to see him while he was still with us, she can’t get to today’s funeral. Which is a mixed blessing, I suppose. She can’t say goodbye to him but she’s not surrounded by reminders that he’s gone, which avoids provoking more low mood.
We’ve written something to be read out on her behalf, to make sure that she’s involved in a small way.